They Have Not Changed The Mold

[CarolineWH]

I truly wonder how many Mother's over the years have been responsible for molding their young daughters into problems of the future...You know the one's that are bulimic and anorexic...Is the Mother nowadays any different than the Mother of when I was young? I doubt it...Many of us were brought up to be thin. The cutest girl is the most popular..The fat girl in the family is made fun of and to make matters worse, it sticks...They can start a child self vomiting at 13 years old to keep them thin. They can "moo" like a cow in the car if they are driving and see a cow grazing....This was in front of the whole family....So what was then, still is now....Not that I encourage it as it makes me sick. I know I lived there...

So many things that you of the younger generation, think are "new" and weren't there, WERE......I guess we just never talked about them too much...TC, C

[NW Admin]

I agree that negative ideals have been passed down along the generations. My problem is that it's getting worse. People just generally have bad attitudes anymore. Things that didn't used to be acceptable, now are. I have noticed that a lot of parents my age laugh and think it's cute when their child repeats a cuss word or is a smart-alek to someone. "Oh look, she's just like her mom! Hahaha!" Ummm... no... let's not go there. Let's not laugh about our children being rude. I can't stand rudeness. It's so unnecessary.

If you think about it, it HAS to be worse now. There was a time when there was no television. I think that television has become a teacher. A teacher of negative things. It's a known fact that the media has played a MASSIVE role in how our young men/women feel they should live and project themselves.

Example:

I have known several people younger then me, in their teens, boys & girls, who have adopted this "way of life" based off of the band Insane Clown Posse. They dress like them, talk like them, and believe what they believe. If you don't know them, just listen to a couple of their songs and it will sum it up real quick. They are hateful, rude, offensive, disrespectful of women, sexist, and the list goes on. And yet, here are people in this day and age that are not even adults yet, living by what this band projects. It's terrible.

So, if there was no media, or at least the media didn't allow the production of such garbage, our children wouldn't have the opportunity to ever be exposed to it in the first place. And who is in charge of the media?? Parents. It is the responsibillity of the parents to stop these things. If you can't protest the media's production of this stuff, then do what you can to stop it at home, in schools, and at friend's houses.

And I couldn't agree more that it too sickens me how parents mold their children to believe happiness come with being thin, beautiful, etc. The focus shouldn't be vanity, it should be health and contentment. Teach our children to be themselves and be proud of it. To never let anyone else make them feel otherwise. I think that emotional strength, pride, and confidence is what our children are lacking. Without that, things will never change. There will always be someone putting it in their head that they aren't good enough.

[KrittinKitty]

You know.. it does make me sick.. being a plus size girl myself. This image that is expected in the media.. and in our homes. I have always been an "overwieght" girl. Even when I was skinny.. I wasn't. I know now that I am much better then I ever gave myself credit for. But my family and the media often played a huge role in making me feel like being skinny was the only way anyone would like you in life.

i was watching this show the other day about mothers and thier child beauty pagent girls. I never been one to think that beauty pagents were bad, but to see what those girls go thourgh to be beautiful.. spray on tans, teeth whitening, extensive working out and training. It just made me realize that our society will always be stuck in this "mold" of being beautiful is the only way to be....

[Chelsea222]

It really is how our society molds us. That's all it is. I don't think it has to do with a natural instinctive preference. I can't remember if it was the Romans or the Greeks, but one of those ancient cultures actually preferred thicker and more supple people. You can see it in their artwork. None of them were skinny toothpicks. That is what the people of that time liked.

I have seen society changing in this aspect. Being thicker is becoming much more promoted. People are realizing that the belief that everyone should be thin is making us and society sick. I am a big fan of what Tyra Banks is doing by promoting "healthy" weight. Telling women that it's ok if their body's natural weight is thicker.

[CarolineWH]

This is the saddest thing there is...As a child I went to parochial school...I was never slight like my sister...According to my Mother, "She should have been a movie star".... She even tried to get her into the movies...I think so many parents live through their children....They become them and try and find everything that they missed out as a child and promote it in them...Even if it means watching their weight and preaching to them from a young age.

When I was young I used to dread that day every year when we would have to go to the nurse's office and get weighed...You know....they call it out like to the next person like you have contacted this new illness...She weight 465 pounds....... I would cringe...Sure I was not small and thin as I was large boned but the hurt this can cause a child of this age is terrible...So they learn young what to fear and what not to fear....Weight becomes this thing that causes pain and some of them go off the deep end and go bulimic and many eventually anorexic......Between this and the loneliness of a child and not being accepted we have now created one of the biggest problems that is possible.....The unaccepted child who turns to violence....

I got to get out of here as I am going off Topic.... TC, C

[KrittinKitty]

I can say that I agree! I mean weight will be a struggle for anyone. Even the skinny ones! I hate that people can't just feel comfortable in thier skin... I mean I still have tons of self image issues, but i know im a pretty girl!

When I was younger I often was called the "heavy" girl.. even when i was skinny, I often feared I would never have anything change,... Kids really are very impressionistic... so push hard enough and they will learn to fear/enjoy/strive.. heck even become obsessed with the "right" image.

I too am glad for Tyra Banks, Queen Latifia, ANTM Season 9 for hiring a plus size girl!

[dlkrebs]

Have you all seen the What Not To Wear Show on TLC? While they don't focus on size - they focus on how to use clothing and taking care of yourself to promote your own beauty. They embrace curves - they show that by knowing how to dress your body type each women is beautiful. I love that show.

[CarolineWH]

Ever since I was a child I have dreaded the scale...This was probably because of the "weight problem" that my Mother had with me as a child...I was not fat but maybe chubby and not even that bad...But I was not the perfect image of my younger sister...This haunted me all my younger years of life..I was too young for what was force fed me...

I am now far from perfection but I will never again be the 5' 7" and 127 pounds as I was when I was married...Sure I should lose some weight to get back down to that slim weight but I am not going to...I like where I am but it is far from that weight...I plan on going down a couple of sizes but this is with good eating and the will power to do it...

I have always hated going to the doctor and weighing in for the nurse...I hate it..It is embarrassment to the height of embarrassment..Maybe not for some hot babe that weighs 135 pounds but this is not me... About 13 years ago I went for my physical...There they weighed you in at a nursing station on the way to the office...They have this large "cow scale" where they can roll a wheel chair on...I got on it and the nurse weighed me...She then shouted out my weight to the next nurse who wrote it down...The nurse looked up at me and even though it was not gross I felt like a "item on display".....That fat heifer that weighed me, who had to have weighed 300 pounds, could have told this quietly but she was a big mouth cow that wanted to make a person feel small.... That day it got to me...I let the doctor know it....He heard me but didn't hear me....You know, in one ear and out the other....SO....

The next time that I went to the doctor and every time since I will not let them weigh me...I know what I weigh and it is OK...Sure I am slightly over weight so what is the big deal....Because they know it isn't going to turn the tables of time....The first time I said this the nurse told me that the doctor will not be happy about this...I told her plain and simple, if he does not like it tell him to have me take off this robe and I will get on his scale here in the office...There he can look at me in all my glory, but the one condition of this is that he cannot tell me what I weigh... I don't want to know...I like me and I don't want to let somebody get me down by preaching to me.........Like he is going to tell me "You are too fat"....Big joke...I know I would look better in a size 14 but so goes life....

To this day I have NEVER gotten on the scale to get weighed....When I was in the hospital for that butt thing where they put you out they weighed me but again did not tell me...I went on it backwards.....

Knowing me, you can believe me.....This is who I am.....Take care, Caroline

[NW Admin]

I used to be really skinny. Well, skinner then I am now. A lot of people still think I am skinny. Right now, I would say I am at an average weight. Losing that tone appearance I used to have because I don't work out so much anymore and I am getting older. Starting to get a little bit of a gut and my butt and thighs are getting thicker. I have never been one to care about my weight or diet. But as I get older, I am not happy with the way things are going with my body. Not horribly upsetting, but I worry it could be the beginning of a much more intense unhappiness and insecurity about my weight. I don't like the way I look in a swim suit right now and that bothers me. It would be so much easier if we lived in a world where weight didn't matter. It's amazing to me too because I don't care one bit about what someone else looks like in a swim suit. I am not a judgemental person. So why should I care what I look like? Because that's the way society has made me. It's hard to shake that too. I think I blow it off a lot better then many other people, but it still gets to me. I don't like it. I am covered in tattoos and you would think that would be what makes me insecure about people seeing me in a swim suit, but that is not true at all. It's always my weight that bothers me.

I am trying to eat healthier, drink more water, and get in some exercizes here and there, but it's really hard to stick with it. Especially with my new job and working all day. I don't feel like working out after work. Ugh.

[avorrgorrus]

Diet is important. The best diet is a "green diet", Since it keeps the blood alkaline, and you can live longer.

Everyone, I say all these ailments are figments of our imagination, and we make them real via neurosis.

Let us examine the art of meditation and zen sometime.