Unsure newbie with a story

[mybodymyself]

My name is Jessica A. Still live with my parents and have an fraternal twin sister as well. Live in Metro New York on New Jersey side of it USA. Born with a Neurologically based speech impairment/apraxia-dysarthria. Suffering from depression/anxiety for awhile now. Yet to reach this stage of life and etc. I'm an student of life and clerical volunteer.

Sorry, its in bits and pieces.

This is both of an question and rant from me.

Know that I'm not the only one whom has experience this before. Mean it can be off/online.

Mean before foundin and/or comin here?

Is it me that we are treated as we are still babies/kids??? Is it me that there are owner/s, admin/s, mod/s whom have no clue on how to run forum???

Its hard even though they all know and we have talked about it. Mostly there are other factors which I can't think of at moment. Somehow I never could avoid this when lookin for new forums for myself. Hope being here is goin to stop this.

Depression and anxiety part of the story.

Unsure when I 1st started noticed this, but it wasn't really until just before 9/11/2001 occured, spl. Basically, I just started a new school and which that didn't work out for me. Wanted to serious end my life at the time and which I tried to. Thank god, I was caught while in the act and etc. Have to say it was very testy for my parents and me during that time. Finally, got my wish for treatment and which I don't recommend my route. My route is the worst case scenario, which I learned later on after my last episode. That wasn't the only episode of the route. Had several more before I finally figured it out and etc. After that started a new school which I wanted to go to. In the end that didn't work out and etc. Then, had some recovery time before I stared my previous volunteer experience. I was a clerical volunteer at Mount Sinai Medical Center (New York, USA). Basically, my mom was working there as well and in the same department as me. Not in the same area of the department. Loved being in the city, but not volunteering. It was more usual tasks then anything else. Unsure if that was because of my depression/anxiety or what. During that time explored my options about a paid job, education, etc options. None of them worked out.

Any form of BC (Birth Control) or HRT (Hormone Replacement Therapy) as well.

I know because I was on bc 2 separate times. Once while on celexa and other after I went off celexa. Wasn't on any other one as well. My mom was on bc, but not very long. It was during the 1st generation of bc then 2nd or 3rd generation of them.

This also goes for hormonal replacements as well. Basically, my mom was on it for a few yrs because her OB/GYN thought it was a good idea. My mom did as well because shes a register nurse. Now, shes been off of it for a couple of yrs now (June). Of course when she went off of it she was sick. In the end she was diagnosed with ovarian cancer, but lucky it was caught in the early stages of it. To me I'm torn on this because I'm all for mainstream medicine. At the same time it comes with a price and I prefer natural medicine more.

Then my fraternal twin sister and my friend's mother was diagnosed with breast cancer in the last yr. It was caught early enough to get treatment, but now her shes having complications from the surgery and etc. Unsure if its her mother or what. At the same time its been hard on her and etc in her family. Which I prefer not to get into on here. Like my mom and my dad, my sister, and etc.

This is my story with the flu, flu shot, etc. Oh how it was written a quite a while ago and etc along those lines.

As for me have only gotten it twice in my lifetime so far and haven’t had ill affects has of yet. 1st time I felt I needed it because the yr before I was at school. Pretty much everyone got it and wanted to be included at the time. Of course they needed permission from my parent/s or doctor, can’t remember which one. This past yr I had to get it because I had bronchitis, last feb. Was on antibiotics and some kind of syrup for it. After that had some GERD (Gastric Reflux) from everything. Was put on medication for that which is working. Believe thats it for now.

By the way my fraternal twin sister had the shot last yr and manage to get it after the season was over. This yr she didn’t get it because her experience last yr.

[NW Admin]

Hello Jessica! My name is Jessica also. Sorry to hear you have had bad experiences with other forums. Hopefully you enjoy ours much better.

Thanks for filling us in on everything. It's always interesting to hear what other people are going through. It sounds like you and your family have been through a lot.

I have not had the flu shot myself. I am too untrusting of medications from having bad experiences with them. So I prefer to try to avoid taking things unless I really need to, but that's just my personal preference. I have experience with birth control too. It was all bad and that is where my distrust comes from.

I'm also sorry to hear about your depression. It's far too common these days. I suffer from anxiety disorder and unfortunately the only thing they have to treat that is anti-depressant medication. I tried a few over the years, but they were just too much for me. I have learned to deal with my anxiety naturally so I am lucky. I know depression and anxiety just aren't manageable for some people.

I'm here for you any time you need to talk. I hope things get better for you.

Oh PS... I had to change the font color on your post. The black you selected was near impossible to read.